Of disclosing ‘disability’ before marriage

There was a time when my mother and sister were searching a bride for me. I had insisted to have my visual ‘disability’ (as others call it) be totally disclosed. People initially showed interest and willingness in my proposal, but the moment my Retinitis Pigmentosa-caused blindness was disclosed, either they did not carry the issue further or politely tendered their refusals.

My parents and sister used to feel sorry for this, and they found it difficult to tell me that I again am being refused for the fear that I will get disheartened. But I had not committed a guilty or shameful act due to which I was facing rejections, so I saw no reason to get disheartened. Indeed, the fact that people were interested in me until my blindness was disclosed was a positive point for me. I have not caused my blindness; it is caused due to reasons beyond my control, then why to feel sorry over it? Yet, I must confess that sometimes I used to feel dejected, but there was light at the end of the tunnel.

We had a very old friendship with a family. They used to frequent us often, and once all of a sudden my mother kept my marriage proposal to them. They gladly agreed, the mother of my supposed wife merrily telling us “What is the use of asking? My daughter is yours, we know your son, he is our child, everything is settled.”

Both the families came in the mood to have a great celebration. Marriage celebrations or their preparations seem to be so divine that we feel as if everyone, even our bloodthirsty enemies, are loving and blessing us in their hearts. The noteworthy thing was that we had visited each other so much that it was clear that they know about my blindness. Moreover, my sister too has RP, and they had helped her often. Yet my sight problem was impressed upon them. But they just did not listen to us and even told my sister not to talk about that issue again as if it was hurting them.

Marriage is a big thing. Everything was clear but I felt some uneasiness and requested to talk with the girl because I did not want to take chances.

We went to meet them. It turned out that they were not taking my sight problem seriously because they were thinking that I have enough sight to do my work on my own. For instance, they knew that I work on computers and move around the city and out of the city independently (at the time these talks were taking place I was out of station). But the astonishing thing was that they could not realise that in the course of time I have become blind.

I told her mother point-blank: “I can only see light. I am looking towards your face because of your voice. I use screen reading technology to work on computers. And I use a cane when I walk alone. I cannot see.”

She gave a pause. That pause clearly expressed that she was broken. (Later, I came to know from my mother that her hands were shaking at that time.) Then I talked with the girl who had already known about the new condition I was in. She sounded perplexed and disinclined.

Their reaction, though, was normal. Anyone would have reacted in a similar manner after knowing about my blindness. My marriage date was to be fixed, but now they needed time and told us that they were unaware that I had lost my sight. I thought that the game was over.

But I was wrong.

Days passed. One good evening, the mother of the girl-who-could-be-my-wife came to our home and started showering praises on me. She talked to me in a tearfully sympathetic tone, though I had not needed it. Apologising from her expressions and tone, she told us that her daughter was not willing to marry me. I was thankful because if this condition had disclosed after marriage, I would have been in great trouble.

At my home, I gave a small party to my friends, and called it ‘In the name of my cancelled marriage’! It was meant to truly celebrate life; it was not one of those Bollywood parties in which bottles are uncorked, there is false enjoyment all around, and the main character ineptly tries to forget his grief in the make-believe. Thankfully, we really enjoyed our party, and since my room is quite separated, we made a lot of noise until the early hours of the morning.

Days passed. Wham! The mother of   the girl-who-could-be-my-wife told us that her daughter wants to marry me! She was deeply moved by that honesty stuff. Earlier too, that delicate creature had cried and prayed for me a lot, on hearing that I have become blind. Her family members, too, had prayed and cried, and now the girl was willing to marry me. It was a U-turn!

Can you even guess what happened after that? Celebrations, excitement, religious and cultural rituals... no, nothing of the sort.

I was not very impressed with prayers and tears. (Though I always beg for God’s mercy and crave for prayers of His creations.) I had earlier told my sister that they have the right to reject me, but acceptance after rejection will not affect me.

I remained a bachelor.

I started to train myself to lead an unmarried life. I found many people (including two blind men) who were very sufficiently leading a lonesome life and asked myself: “If they can do it, why cannot I?”

Living alone is difficult, but not impossible. Loneliness humbles you, brings forth your good qualities and teaches you how to be happy in need. It is a lovely teacher which urges you to be independent of all except God.

I was not pessimistic to adopt such an approach; I only tried to be practical. Had I been pessimistic, I would have told my family members not to search a bride for me because “I want to live alone.” Besides, I have a small rule of life, which is to try to be happy in an unnatural or adverse situation, but never to willingly prolong or embrace it. True, bearing pain patiently brings forth our good qualities, but this does not mean that we don’t take steps to eliminate it.

I lived and enjoyed the present without caring about the future. I pursued my hobbies (reading, writing and travelling) and tried not to miss a chance to improve myself.

Days passed. The final shot readers! One fine evening I was introduced to a girl by my mother and sister to whom I told each and everything about my sight. It is close to midnight now, and guess what....that girl is with me because thankfully she is my wife!

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Shadab Husain works as a receptionist at Chhatrapati Shahuji Maharaj Medical University, Lucknow. He has an MA in English literature, and has pursued a diploma in computer applications as well as a personality development course. He also writes a blog on personality development and improving English. To visit his blog, click PersonalityAndEnglish.blogspot.com.

Sound of football (or soccer ball) allows visually challenged players to play the game

In a show of just how far smartphone technology has come, a new group funded by the Pepsi Refresh Project, has put together various technologies that allow blind people to play football (or soccer) using nothing but sounds that come to them from headphones connected to an iPhone mounted on their helmet. The idea, developed by Akestam Holst and Society 46, is to use surround sound technology to allow someone who cannot see, to move around and interact in an unknown and constantly changing real world environment. To demonstrate their technology, they set up a match between a group of sighted, but blindfolded former pro footballers, and a group of blind players on a small portion of a real stadium.

To create the sounds that guide the players, the team used 3D camera systems provided by Tracab mounted on the stadium walls. The cameras are connected to computers with tracking software that allows for the tracking of each player, the ball and the location of the goal posts. Each tracked entity is assigned a unique sound which is modified based on its relative location to each player then broadcast to the iPhone on the player’s helmet. Thus, when a player on the field approaches another, the sound that is generated not only gets louder, but is “projected” in three-dimensional space, which means the player can tell where the other player is relative to them, just as people can tell where someone is relative to them who is walking on a tiled floor with hard soled shoes, by the direction of the sound waves coming at them. Because of this effect, the sound can be adjusted in real time when the player listening moves on the field. And because of the gyroscope and the compass in their iPhone, the effect can be adjusted as the player turns their head, providing a continuous perspective.

In short, the whole system allows each individual player to “hear” where everyone else is, where the ball is, where on the field they are, and where the goal posts are. Based on that information, each player can then move about as they would were they able to do so using vision. Granted, the system can’t possibly offer anywhere near the same sensory experience as those who can see, but it is enough to allow the teams to both play and compete.

In the end, each side had its own advantages. The ex pros obviously had far superior ball skills, while the blind players had far more experience moving around the real world without benefit of sight. And it appears things worked out rather evenly, as the final score was 1-1.

To read more about it, click here, here, here and here. If you want to watch the videos of the technology or the actual game, please click here and here.

Source

Lasers may be increasing threat to the eye and the retina

An article in the New York Times by Christine Negroni refers to the increasing threat to vision and damage to the retina, by increasing access to the green laser.

Eye doctors around the world are warning of increasing number of cases of teenagers who suffer permanent eye damage while playing with high-powered green laser pointers.

The pointers, which have also been implicated in a ninefold increase over five years in reports of lasers’ being aimed at airplanes, are easier than ever to order online, even though they are 10 to 20 times as powerful as the legal limit set by the Food and Drug Administration.

A recent case highlights the problem: A high school student complained of a blind spot in his left eye, when a friend waved a green laser pointer in front of his face. The damage, as diagnosed by a retina specialist, was found to be severe and is not likely to completely heal, which means the high school student may end up with a permanent damage to his vision. The same retina specialist found out that the laser put out 50 milliwatts of power, 10 times more than the F.D.A. limit. And as he investigated his patient’s case, the doctor went online and bought a 100-milliwatt pointer for $28 (about Rs 1255) , and was hardly able to believe that he could buy an even more stronger laser without any controls or checks in place.

Like household lights, lasers are measured in watts, but the similarity ends there. A 100-watt incandescent bulb produces about five watts of visible light; the five-milliwatt laser is only one-thousandth as powerful. But because the light from a bulb is diffuse while a laser beam is concentrated, the effect of five milliwatts on the eye is 10,000 times as intense, according to laser experts. (For technical information on lasers, click here.) It also does not help that the eye tends to focus and intensify the laser, causing even more damage to the main part of the retina, the macula or the fovea, which is the center of the retina. The darker pigment present in the region absorbs the light as heat, quickly raising the temperature of the retina.

Some experts feel that the sale of laser pointers more than one milliwatt should be banned to the general public, since the stronger laser put people at risk of permanent visual impairment by the criminally minded or those who are unaware of the risks.

F.D.A., in its update, warned that a higher-powered laser gives less time to look away before injury can occur, and as power increases, eye damage may happen in a microsecond. One company that has come under scrutiny from the FDA is Wicked Lasers from Hong Kong.

Several laser experts feel that the enforcement of regulations is insufficient and ineffective. But any new restrictions being put in to contain the availability of such lasers will certainly meet resistance from the large community of laser enthusiasts, including those who use them professionally (like contractors and astronomers) and hobbyists.

Earlier, red lasers were used as laser pointers, Now, green lasers are more commonly used. But green lasers are also more dangerous. Green is more easily absorbed by the retina than red, so it requires less exposure to cause damage.

As a recommendation, please do not allow lasers to fall into the hands of unsuspecting children, who may find it easy to point the laser light at others, which can potentially be permanently damaging. Also, educate everyone who uses laser pointers to be more careful, including colleagues at work, who have the tendency of using the laser pointer during presentations, and who have the tendency of sweeping their hands around with the laser pointer turned on!